It's time, you know it is! You've been thinking
about it off and on for months now. There’s no denying it.
And each time you picture going to the dentist, you’re struck
with terror - absolute terror. The fear alarm inside your mind
starts ringing wildly and shakes you to your very core. Your body
tenses and your mind takes on a life of its own just considering
the decision to phone up the office. As your mind conjures up
visions of being trapped in a chair, your mouth propped open with
no escape in sight, your body responds with a rapid heartbeat,
difficulty breathing. Left unchecked, your fearful imagination
can produce a dizziness, headache, even nausea. If just thinking
about a dental visit causes this much torment, you doubt that
you’ll be able to live through an actual procedure. So today,
you decide once again to put if off. Or perhaps you’ve actually
set an appointment, but called and canceled it because something’s
come up.
Canceling an appointment brings a momentary sense of relief,
but is normally followed by another mental battle - where you
beat yourself up for letting your apprehension rule.The entire scenario is very familiar. I know each and every
one of the sensations mentioned above - intimately. I know the
obsessive thinking that accompanies the physical symptoms. I
know the never ending pictures that flash through the brain
and the lack of self-respect that follows having good intentions,
but not being able to follow through.I once suffered from agoraphobia - defined as fear of open
spaces - which may be somewhat misleading because I was subject
to panics in enclosed places such as elevators and enclosed
parking areas as well. The physical sensations I experienced
were so strong at times I thought I was dying. Although I had
many fears, driving was the greatest. When I said "I can’t
drive to a destination five miles away from my home," I
literally meant "I can’t". If someone would have
offered me a thousand dollars to make the short trip, I could
not have forced myself to drive that distance - period. Of course
I didn’t tell many people I couldn’t drive - I was
ashamed. Instead I’d make excuses. Today anxiety and phobias
no longer rule my life. I am free to do anything I choose to
do.The good news is You CAN overcome your phobia, for readers
of this page - your dental phobia. And by the way, there is
no bad news.
Open your mind to new information please. I doubt that you’ve
ever heard some of these truths before. Don’t feel bad
- most people aren’t aware of these facts. When I finally
learned them I remember thinking, "Why didn’t they
teach this to us in grammar school?" I’ll start with
some basics.
Nervous fear is the fear of discomfort.
It’s not the actual thing - the dentist or dental procedure
in this case that we are afraid of - we are afraid of "feeling
afraid" No one likes feeling afraid, but unless we face
fear, we become imprisoned by it.
Comfort is a want and not a need.
Even though we feel fearful, in some cases very, very fearful,
we can still function. We CAN dial a phone, we CAN make an appointment,
we CAN get ourself to the dentist’s office, we CAN sit
through an entire hour visit even when we’re not feeling
jolly, comfortable, or completely at peace.
It’s not how we feel - it’s how we function that
counts.
You absolutely must step out of your comfort zone and face
your fear head-on. If I would have waited until I was comfortable
before I tried to face my fear of driving, I would still be
locked into that three mile comfort zone. Affirmations are good tools - at times. So is visualization
- seeing yourself in your mind as you want to be - sitting calmly
as the sound of the drill electrifies your body. It may be a
difficult picture to frame in your brain. Best of all are verbal
tranquilizers - healthy replacement thoughts to neutralize your
fear.Each of us has the freedom and the ability to consciously change
our thoughts (another fact they never mentioned while we were
growing up). Each of the insecure thoughts that bombards the
mind can be replaced with a secure thought. This is similar
to, but far more effective than positive/negative thinking.
Secure thoughts target a basic human need - safety. When we
are fearful - we feel unsafe - we feel danger to a certain degree.
And, as long as the danger is or seems apparent, the body and
mind will respond with the fight or flight response.The best verbal tranquilizer for extinguishing fear: "Distressing,
but not dangerous." These four words knock out nervousness
whether it’s associated with a dental appointment or speaking
in front of a group of people. Nervous symptoms are distressing,
but not dangerous. The statement acknowledges that the discomfort
you’re feeling is real (and it is), and also reinstates
a sense of safety and security. The body cannot feel safe when
the mind is thinking danger. Likewise the body cannot feel unsafe
when the mind is thinking securely.Forcing yourself to do the thing you fear does not take a lot
of courage. It does take effort and determination. It does mean
consciously changing thoughts, perhaps dozens and dozens of
times. When a fear thought pops up, replace it with "distressing,
but not dangerous." We can only have a single thought in
a single instant. When you keep repeating the secure healthy
phrase, it doesn’t leave room for the insecure fear thoughts
to take over. When the unhealthy thoughts do return, and they
will until the habit is broken, substitute a healthy thought.
The phrase distressing but not dangerous is short, easy to remember,
most of all it will help calm you. It’s not a magic pill.
As I said, this is a process that requires determination. If
you’ve been afraid of the dentist for years, you’re
not going to have an overnight recovery. But with this system
it will be a lasting recovery. It is a beginning - Even if you
think you can't YOU CAN!!!Rather than confronting something as frightening as a dental
visit, you may want to practice reprogramming thoughts in fearful,
yet less traumatic situations (such as attending a self-help
class). The basic formula for reducing the symptoms of a phobia
consists of consciously replacing insecure (fear) thoughts,
with secure thoughts. Repeat silently or aloud these 3 key secure
phrases to lessen your tension:
Distressing, but not dangerousComfort is a want not a need
It’s not how I feel. It’s how I function
Does this all sound too simple - swapping one thought for another?
Does it sound too time consuming? It is simple, not necessarily
easy (especially when you are in the pain of anxiety). Time
consuming? - not really. We’re thinking most of the time
anyway - we might as well be thinking healthy thoughts instead
of self-defeating ones. This method has been helping individuals
overcome their fears for over 60 years. Practice reprogramming
thoughts - one at a time. Try it - all you have to lose is your
phobia.
Rose VanSickle is the
author of Peace of Body, peace of Mind. Click
here for more information about this remarkable book that
hold the key to regaining control of your life.
