The key to being relatively calm in the dentist’s chair begins well before the actual visit. I say relatively calm because if you’re suffering from dental phobia and have been for a while, it’s unlikely that you will feel "perfectly" comfortable your first or second visit. Each of us must take an active part in overcoming our fears. People don’t get over their fear of heights for instance, in an flash. It takes practice - practice changing your thoughts. Long before the dreaded event you must take charge of your thinking. If you consciously make an effort at being more calm, you will be more calm. Let’s create a mental picture. You’re sitting at your desk and glance at the calendar. You notice your dental appointment is only two weeks from today. Immediately your mind kicks into overdrive. "I know it’s going to be terrible. What if I get nauseous while I’m in the chair? What if the anesthetic doesn’t take hold quickly enough? I know it’s going to hurt. I’m grateful I found a new dentist who advertises gentle procedures, but can I trust him to be gentle with my mouth? Oh I remember that awful antiseptic stench from when I was a youngster. I wonder if they’ve found anyway to correct that?" As you think about the upcoming visit, your body begins responding to your fear thoughts. Physical sensations can range from mild to severe depending on how vivid a scene you’ve painted in your mind, and how long you engage in the working up process. Your shoulders and neck may feel tense. Your jaw may start to hurt because you’ve got it got your teeth clamped together so tightly. You may find yourself short of breath or a headache may be looming on the horizon. Your stomach may be churning and your insides trembling. Actually these body signals can be viewed as good instead of bad. They are a sure sign that you are thinking fear and a signal for you to take action. You see the body doesn’t know the difference between an imagined experience and a real one. How can that be you say! If you doubt my words, think about a frightful dream you experienced, one where someone or something was chasing you. You awaken from the dream feeling as though your heart is pounding out of your chest, perhaps even perspiring. Your body was reacting to an imagined fear, thoughts you were having in a dream state. The character in your dream was not reality, yet your body responded as if he were genuine. Each and every time you catch yourself anxious about your upcoming appointment, stop and W.A.I.T. Stop and ask yourself: What Am I Thinking? Rather than letting your thoughts control you, take the time to control your thoughts. Consciously toss out the unhealthy fear thoughts and replace them with healthy secure and realistic thoughts. Using the picture we created earlier, here are a few ways to reprogram what’s going on in your mind. The original thoughts are in italic, followed by the replacement thought(s). Your dental appointment is only two weeks from today You can view that fact insecurely, the appointment is only two weeks away, or securely - the appointment is still two weeks away. I know it’s going to be terrible You really don’t know how uncomfortable it’s going to be. The anticipation is always worse than the actual event. What if I get nauseous while I’m in the chair? Feeling nauseous is uncomfortable, but doesn’t necessarily mean that anything worse is going to happen. Feeling nauseous is distressing, but it is not dangerous. Feelings and sensations will rise, fall and run their course if we don’t attach danger to them. Take away the fear (danger) and your stomach will quiet down on it’s own accord. What if the anesthetic doesn’t take hold quickly enough? If you feel the first poke of a dental instrument, speak up. Tell the doctor it hurts. If you begin to feel pain while the drilling’s going on, hold up your hand as a signal to the doc. You may not be able to speak clearly with the position you’re mouth is in, but you can make some kind of sound, Grunt if you need to.- but do show some sign that you’re feeling pain. Remember your pain receptors are in your body. Even though the dentists fingers are in your mouth, he has no clue of what you’re feeling unless you let him know. Do not suffer in silence. And if you’re concerned about sounding a bit odd, don’t. Dentists, assistants and hygienists are used to hearing us "talk with our mouths full." I know it’s going to hurt The replacement thought here is simply: I don’t know if it’s going to hurt - because you really don’t know! None of us can predict the future. I’m grateful I found a new dentist who advertises gentle procedures, but can I trust him to be gentle with my mouth? Realistically there is no guarantee. But in all probability the man or woman is more compassionate and caring than the dentists of long ago. Oh I remember that awful antiseptic stench from when I was a youngster. I wonder if they’ve found anyway to correct that? Most probably they have. New technology dentistry now includes pleasant flavors for the things they place in our mouths. If the flavors have improved, so have the scents. Everything on the patient end of dentistry Is more user-friendly these days. And all those physical sensations you experience two weeks before your appointment are the direct result of your fear thoughts - they too are distressing, but they are not dangerous. Practice in reprogramming thoughts has two beneficial effects. It calms down the anticipatory fear you have before your visit, and makes it easier to calm yourself down at the office. It’s much easier to recall secure and realistic thoughts if you’ve taken the time to use them before. You can have them at your fingertips or the tip of your tongue, ready to use while you’re in the chair. Another excellent method for stopping racing thoughts is objectivity - the process of thinking of something measurable and verifiable. This is a great technique to use, when you’re stuck "in the chair." Think about your automobile and picture every detail - interior and exterior colors, number of doors, the shape of the door handles, all the indicators on the dashboard, the type of fabric on the seats. The list is endless. If you don’t own an automobile, think of a specific room in your home. Think about the size of the room - length, width, height of the ceiling, how the furniture is placed, the colors, lamps and all other accessories. It’s a fact that we can only have a single thought in a single instant. Describing in your mind (thinking about) an object or objects that are familiar to you doesn’t give the mind a chance to harbor racing, upsetting thoughts. Fear thoughts are persistent and they will try to sneak back in. When they do, simply bring your attention (your thoughts) back to describing your chosen object or place. When you have a fear of dentists you really have the choice of two discomforts -the actual discomfort you may feel during the appointment (notice I said "may" have), or you have the discomfort of not going and having the needed work done and beating yourself up for giving into your fear. The dialogue goes like this: I’m such a coward. But I can’t help it. I’m scared. But I can’t admit it to anyone. Every act of self-control produces a sense of self-respect. Along with the relief you feel for having the dental procedure behind you instead of staring you in the face, I guarantee you that when you face your fear you will gain a realistic sense of self-pride. This next step is important whether you do it immediately after you leave the office or later on in the day - take time to give yourself a mental pat on the back. You deserve it! No one else needs to be aware of it. It was your effort that got you through. It’s your victory and you can be proud of it. Whether your fear is dentists or tax audits, driving or diving, the above tactics will work at reducing anxiety. If your anxiety has grown into a full blown phobia, it’s merely going to take more of your effort. The key as with any life skill is do put to use what you’ve learned. Changing thoughts is the first step in taking back control of your life. Print this article and carry it with you for easy reference. Memorize and use the phrase "distressing but not dangerous." Do whatever it takes to help you be an active participant in reprogramming your mind. It’s true - Change your thoughts and change your life. ©1998 Rose VanSickle Author - Peace of Body, Peace of Mind Rose VanSickle is the author of Peace of Body, peace of Mind. Click here for more information about this remarkable book that hold the key to regaining control of your life.